That’s right. I’m back.
I told you early January and I lied. I didn’t mean to. But I did. I needed time. It’s not easy to keep up with the amount of writing that I was demanding from myself. And, as you would expect, I found myself getting upset about writing.
This blog took a hit. The websites that I write for took a hit. Even my own creative writing pushed me over the edge. We’re talking full breakdown. I started to question whether or not writing was something that I should be doing.
Let’s face it. I don’t give myself a lot of spare time. Side projects line up and I end up stealing time away from relaxation or my partner or my friends to try and finish them. I started to question why I dedicate so much time to a hobby that didn’t feel like it was giving me much in return.
What the point?
I guess I don’t have an answer for you. But I can tell you that I pulled myself out of a slump by sitting down with a pen and a notebook and writing. No stories, no narrative, no purpose. I wrote out thoughts and ideas and the random shit that pops into my head. And I started to feel better.
I think that is where I decided that I am okay writing. It’s not just a hobby. It’s something that keeps me steady. I’m a worse person when I don’t make time to write. But I need to remember that “getting somewhere” with writing is not the goal. The goal is the act in itself. Whatever happens otherwise is dressing.
So, I’m back. And I think that means a lot of new things. First, I need to be easier on myself regarding where I think my writing is “going.” It may well go no where and I need to work on being okay with that. Second, I need to slow down the production. I’m not doing myself any favors pushing at full gear at all times. Third, I need to work on being more present with regard to my creativity. Creating something is beautiful and I need to appreciate that more.
The blog will continue on. I think I will try my normal one post per week. But it might start to slow down a little bit. We’ll see. Nothing is for sure. There may be less photos. There’s nothing inspiring about the gray winter in Massachusetts. But who knows. Maybe they’ll stick around too.
I missed you, reader. Even if you’rer not out there and I’m writing to no one, sending the missive into the universe has always felt good.
ER
Yay! I’m happy you’re back!
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