i was wrong

I thought that I could make it through the global pandemic without hitting a lull in my productivity.

I was wrong. Big time.

It came in waves. I felt myself slowing down a little bit. I’d gotten some projects out of the way and I felt good about it. Recently, I have been getting a bunch of rejections (which is expected) and things didn’t seem to be moving in the way that I wanted.

It’s life. This stuff happens. It’s not a big deal. Normally, I give it a bit of time and then pick up and move on. But for some reason, I found that I was really falling into a bit of a slump.

I wasn’t working out much and I wasn’t sleeping very well. Writing was feeling a bit more tired, not as interesting. I received some great news with a pretty high profile story acceptance. But it didn’t refuel me in the way that type of news normally would.

Things were off.

It took me a while to actually look around and say, “okay. It’s not just me.” Part of it (whether that part is large or small) is the shit going on around us.

I think I’ve been lucky to maintain to productivity that I have in quarantine. But there is a time when things are going to fall into a slump. It’s inevitable. And I think the chances are much more likely when you are perpetually stuck inside without the option of real social interaction.

The fact that I had not overworked myself sooner feels amazing to me.

For now, I am continuing on. I think I am moving at a slower pace than I normally would. I’m starting to accept that moving a bit slower and doing a bit less is okay.

It’s okay to have cabin fever and to feel isolated. It’s not okay to continually shame yourself for not overcoming situations that you literally have no control over.

Good luck out there. Stay strong. We’ll make it through.


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