i’m behind…

…on everything.

God damn it has been a crazy month.

For those that don’t know, my day job really kicks up around this time of year. For me, late September and October are the bread and butter months for work. I need to be on at all times. I’m usually going in early and working late. I have to have my hands in dozens of different projects at once and that means that things start to slip past me.

Don’t get me wrong, I try to keep up. But it is damn hard to come home after 10 hours of work and put in more work. Especially when I technically don’t need to do that work. I don’t have to write this blog. No one is going to complain if I stop writing stories.

The only real writing obligation I have is to Morbidly Beautiful and that is a pretty flexible gig.

So, I let myself slip this month. I really gave myself rope on a lot of things. Exercise, diet, writing, reading, and watching. I’ve been really off with all of the above lately. I attribute most of it to work-related stress. But it is also hard to always be focused on everything that I do.

It led me to a slump. I wasn’t liking the books that I was reading. I hated the writing that I was able to squeak out during downtime. I felt pretty listless, a little depressed about things.

And that happens, man. I have a history of depression. Sometimes, it sneaks up on me. I usually knock it out with a re-focus moment on work and life. This time, though, that did not work. I think I needed to realize that no amount of re-focus or mental exercise was going to stop me from feeling overwhelmed in the 9-to-5. I needed to let go of the other work that I love and focus on the thing that actually allows me the financial stability to write and read and watch and review.

Most importantly, I needed to not guilt myself regarding my slippage. It happens. I’m human and, like everyone else, I need to breath sometimes. I can’t always be hunched over the laptop. I just can’t.

I’m back now, though. Work should be returning to its normal pace and I should also be able to return to my normal routine. I’m excited for it.

It also means that I need to realign the goals that I’ve set out for myself and act accordingly.

We’ll see how it goes. Until I figure it out, I’ll do my best to make sure the blog is updated and the work is flowing.


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