back to the gym

The gym reopened and I’ve decided to head back to the weight rack.

If you follow this blog, you know that fitness is pretty important to me. It’s something that I try to practice pretty religiously. There’s a few reasons for that:

  1. I’ve found that I am much more productive when I wake up early and get some type of exercise in my day. My job (both as a staff member and as a writer) require a lot of sitting. That sedentary lifestyle has its perks, but I find that I need to burn off energy in order to make it tolerable.
  2. I am a big proponent of routine. I need a routine to function. When I break habits, I tend to feel less productive, less happy, and less willing to put in the work in my home life, my work life, and my romantic life.
  3. I have body issues. It’s 2020. Who doesn’t? But working out allows me the opportunity to continue to work on myself physically and that helps my overall self esteem.

Now, though, I am finding the workout harder than I had imagined. When you spend 6 months (thanks, COVID) out of routine you are bound to drop habits. You can drop habits after a week of missing session.

I feel like a new lifter again. My stamina is down. My strength is way down and, despite my excitement for getting back in the gym, I am finding it really tough to gather the strength needed to pull myself out of bed at the early hour.

Part of these feelings are situational. I’ve been covering a film fest, work has been busy, life has been busy, and I haven’t always been getting the amount of sleep that I should get. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit there is a mental component.

It is easier to not do. That’s the consistent and constant battle that I face. That path of least resistance is always pulling at me. It is always there. I know it and I still sometimes lose those battles.

I think its important to acknowledge them. If you know they exist, then at least you can admit when you are facing them. 

If I am going to get deep, then I’ll need to admit that facing these moment of doubt or failure or laziness is why I write this blog. It’s a place where I can put those issues on the page for myself. 

The point is that we all face these things. Whether it is rejection from a magazine or a lack of motivation in the things that you love. It’s important to acknowledge them and to allow yourself to fail. But it’s more important to continue pushing. Keep moving. Don’t quit. And those routines, those habits will come back and it will be easier in the future.


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