me and my damn hobbies

Had a damn weird couple of days, folks.

I don’t know why, but my brain decided that I needed a gaming PC and I became determined that I would invest the time in money in a budget-friendly kick-ass computer!

I really should not be thinking about buying and building a gaming PC. But fuck it! I only get to live once. Let my mind wander in whatever direction the wind takes it. I don’t need logic and I don’t need common sense. I am a person who needs things!

For real, though. I’m not buying and building a PC. I don’t have space in my apartment for that bullshit and my partner would kill me for dropping an easy 600 buckaroos on a system that I, literally, have zero time to play.

And don’t give me shit about my price point. I’m just here to play Star Citizen and Baulder’s Gate, I don’t need a $1,000 setup to facilitate my emotional needs.

Truth is, I miss building things. Or, at least, the freedom to be able to build and fix things. I find myself in a time of restraint. I’ve shared that we are currently on a (mostly) tight budget and we have a small apartment. Sometimes, I feel confined. It’s just the truth. I’m used to being able to spread out and have room for me and my things. I don’t have that now.

I’ve given up my space, my car, my tools, my smart lights, and some of the things that allowed me to scratch the itch when I feel like I need to tinker around with something.

I grew up in a very hands on environment. It wasn’t until recently that I took my car to a garage to get fixed. When something broke down, I used to fix it. When I was a kid, there was no money for hiring someone else. My dad taught himself (and then me) the basics of carpentry, auto-repair, electrical work, and plumbing. When something went wrong, we fixed it.

And then I moved into an apartment and I never have to fix anything because if I do fix something I might get in trouble from the damn landlord. (Cue my frustrated screaming)

I like working with my hands. I like to learn-by-doing. It functioned as one of my hobbies for a very long time and it’s recently been slowly degrading. I imagine that at some point it will make a triumphant return, but until then I find myself wishing that I would roll up my sleeves and mess around with some power tools.

This inclination is one reason why I think I am going to love being a homeowner. I think I might even get myself a full-fledged tool belt…

Anyway, I don’t know. I’m not buying or building a gaming PC. I don’t have the time for that. And I’ll figure out a way to scratch the itch. I always do.

Writing it out is always good. That’s why I have this hobby. It helps, even when other things don’t.


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